Toronto Psychological Services Counselling Blog

Finding meaning through loss & grief

Heartbreak Hotel: Finding meaning through loss or grief

I had the unfortunate displeasure of going through two fairly significant losses at the beginning of the year. The first loss I experienced was the loss of my grandmother (Nanny) and the second loss was the ending of a five-year romantic relationship.  Because of the proximity of these two losses, I was, to be honest, a blubbering train wreck most days of the week. On one hand there was someone who I wanted to reach out to so badly but their voice was no longer present,

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HAPPY

How to find happiness

If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands!

A common question, or rather direction, I receive is some variation of “I just want to be happy, give me the tools to get there.” Alas I present you,

How to reach true happiness

  1. You can’t.

Now, the smug part of me so badly wants to leave this post at that, however because of the silence from my previous demand (clapping if you’re happy), the small part of me that likes to hear myself speak is shouting a little louder today.

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How to be Perfect All the Time……..NOT

How to be Perfect All the Time……..NOT

Mothers, brothers, daughters, employees, employers, co-workers, husbands, wives……Yes, that’s right –just about everyone at one time or another has the unreasonable expectation that we (or someone we know) should be perfect. I don’t know about you but I confess that I have found myself on both sides of that unattainable fence at one time or another. But how does this ridiculous notion come about? How do we come to expect that as a normal human being, we should be perfect? Perhaps worse, how did we get the idea that another person should be meeting our needs,

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When To See A Couple’s Counsellor

When To See A Couple’s Counsellor

You are hanging out at the bar after a long day of work. You look around and a beautiful woman catches your eye. Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and you feel butterflies in your stomach. It is almost as if time stood still, and every single fiber in your body is telling you that she is the ONE. You finally work up the courage to walk up to her and start a conversation. Fast forward a few years, you get married and live happily for the rest of your lives…

Nice,

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Childhood Onset of OCD

Childhood Onset of OCD

“Something’s different about Johnny…”

Johnny used to be a happy-go-lucky, active boy, who enjoyed spending time with his friends and doing well in school. In the past few months, however, he has lost interest in what he used to enjoy.

While he has always been into being healthy, things took a turn for the worse after he heard about virus outbreaks on the news and has since become obsessed with getting sick. He has begun to take multiple daily showers and has also taken to washing his hands so often that it is to the point that his hands are raw to the touch and on the verge of bleeding.

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Parenting children: when “NO” doesn’t work.

Parenting children: when “NO” doesn’t work

How to train your dog. Parenting children: when “NO” doesn’t work. *

I am expecting a little bundle of joy to finally call my own—a dog that is. In light of this very exciting event, I have been endlessly reading books about what to do/ not do when training a puppy.  My most recent literature endeavor has been about the power of positive dog training. The premise of this book is to set your puppy up for success rather than failure. Now, before you leave me because you did not come here to learn how to train a puppy,

Read more Parenting children: when “NO” doesn’t work

Worrying & Anxiety | The Worry Maze

How can I help my child stop worrying?

Worrying can be beneficial

Without first jumping to the worst-case scenario, let it be clear that worrying can be very beneficial, as it can serve a number of important, life-preserving functions.

Worrying can protect us

What might such benefits be? Well, for starters, worrying can protect us, as it can help us think about the right things at the right time to help keep us safe. Take for example when one feels worried about travelling alone in the dark. Such a worry can serve as a signal that danger is probable and therefore can help to inform how we make decisions.

Read more How can I help my child stop worrying?

Are you there time? It's me. Busy

Are You There Time? It’s me, Busy.

A budding assumption of there not being enough time, that we are running out of time, and we are altogether too busy to, I suppose, enjoy life, has been taking over the airways in and out of my office. When asking friends, family, colleagues, and clients the (not so) simple question of “How are you?” I am often responded with some variation of “Good. Busy, but good”. Busyness has somehow created an enemy of time and an all-encompassing notion that when it come to busy and time,

Read more Are You There Time? It’s me, Busy.

How do I parent? Confused Parenting

Confused Parenting | How do I parent?

“The children of today are the leaders of tomorrow.” Talk about pressure for parents!

A recent article in Maclean’s Magazine depicting the downfall of parenting has been making the rounds, and in my humble opinion, ultimately adding to, and fueling the confusion fire. The article relays the collapse of parenting being partly to blame for kids becoming overweight, overmedicated, anxious, and disrespectful of themselves and those around them. It is targeting the laissez-faire parenting style and blaming parents for relinquishing their parental authority,

Read more Confused Parenting | How do I parent?

There are hurt individuals everywhere, the bullied and the bully

“Kids are Ruthless”, says Society: Let’s Take Ownership

Kids will be kids, Kids can be mean, ruthless, horrifying, [insert any word that associates with anything less than pleasant] to one another. How many times have we heard variations of these statements, or have stated them ourselves?

Phrases such as these are instinctively said when one hears of a bullying episode on the news, on the radio, or through a conversation with another. It has become easy to nonchalantly accept these words as the truth, and move on to the next part of our day.

Read more “Kids are Ruthless”, says Society: Let’s Take Ownership